Son, I love you, I really do...

My Jaden turns 27 months 1 week today. 

With greater control of his hands, he is able to do more tasks for himself. He is able to feed himself (with a little support from me), to help dress and undress himself, to brush his own teeth (I brush them first, then hand him the brush for him to do by himself). What he needs from me are the encouragement and plenty of opportunities to practice.

There are still some resists, but he is often cooperative. For example, he held it tighter and turned away when I asked him to give me back the object in his hand. I consistently repeated "give it to me please" and showed my hand in front of him, he would return it after my 3rd or 4 th attempt. We do lots of role plays, I make sure that he understand the meaning of sharing toys, taking turns and caring for others feelings. I encourage him to use words to express what he wants, make him to repeat after me the needed sentences, word by word. He loves to be around other children. He loves to make me tell him plenty of stories about everything in his sight, whether a fan, an air con or even the ceiling. 

Jaden is still co-sleeping with us. He will sleep in his own room when he is 4 or whenever he is ready for it. Sleeping alone in our cozy, familiar room won't scare an adult a bit, a night in a museum or a strange cottage deep in a forest might be a different story. To an infant or a toddler, our nice, cozy home might be a full of adventures land with giant things and loud noises. The child has to be taught to be independent. Yes, with appropriate tasks for your child's abilities at his age, not by CIO (cry it out) - letting babies get distressed is a practice that can damage children and their relational capacities in many ways for the long term. The film is rated for a reason, there are different appropriate perceptions for different ages. Inappropriate teachings lead to wrong lessons and harmful, unexpected side affects. Those little people' s undergoing rapid brain growth and soul immune systems will be built strongly if they receive enough trust and a sense of security. Thus, they will grow up to be a fine person, full of love, independent and trustworthy. 




https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out

He loves anything blue...

After reading this blue colour story a few times, Jaden started to make up his own homework. Everything in sight would be in his nonstop Q/A: what color is the table, the table is grey; what color is Dad's shirt, Dad's shirt is green...

And yes, this is what I want him to have: the ability of using language to explore the world. To a toddler, even his home is full of adventures.

Mom's hand writing "books"...

His reading is good so far. Recognize more words. These are the hand writing books I made for him. Each "book" has a mini story about him. He loves to read things he is familiar with.

He would tell me "pee pee" whenever he wants to pass urine but still insisted wearing pamper to "poo poo". He was willing to sit on the potty if only I gave him some chocolate. After finishing his chocolate, he stood up, asked to wear pamper and poo...

I prefer to write the story on the hard paper which is the one they used to shape the T shirt (the Tesco story), it's easier to read and hold. For the writings, it would be improved more though :)

Cherishing the moment, he is only a baby for a little while...

My son is co-sleeping with us and we really love it. He had been sleeping in his own cot for the first 9 months. From month 10th onwards, with numerous of wonder weeks, growth spurts, teething... he barely slept through the night, that was when he moved in the same bed with us. I'm glad that we've made this decision which suited us best.

To make a good use of the baby cot, I took out one side, put on the carton board, changed it into a large worktable for my son. There are three adjustable levels, it's now on the lowest level, so this could be used quite some time. Those transparent boxes under the table were used to be my son's mobile closets where I kept his daily clothes and diapers. The lids fit well with the boxes, easy to open/close, the transparency helps to see what inside which box. They were used to put on the baby changing table.They are now used to keep his toys and also his very comfortable chairs, just right for the worktable.

He will be moving out from our room and get his own when he is 4. We will give him a budget to decorate the room according to his likings. Although we will assist him with as much as information, guidance but the final says are his. This will be his first lesson in budgeting and the private room would describe him best. By age of 4, he is going to be given some areas where he can make his own decisions, and of course, together with some relevant responsibilities. 

For now, I just cherish every moment with my son. He is growing up so fast each day and only be a baby for a little while...

Breastfeeding, solid introducing and eczema kid.

I fully breastfed my son until he was 9 months and introduced solid together with breastfed until he was 17 months. The readiness for solid varies widely from baby to baby. The point here is to look at your baby, not the calendar. Between 6 and 9  months, your baby will give you some signs that he might be ready for solid foods. My son showed his readiness when he was 9 months old. He drank milk as if it was water, the normal daily milk intake was increased from 1,2 litter to 1,6 littler for a week. That was when I introduced solid to him.

There are many arguments regarding breastfeeding benefits towards eczema kids. A study from Taiwan suggests that longer breastfeeding may increase, not decrease, the risk of eczema. According to Breastfeeding Basics, a baby’s immature digestive tract isn’t prepared to handle a wide variety of foods until at least six months, when many digestive enzymes seem to click in. This is especially important if you have a family history of allergies. The protective protein IgA, which coats the baby’s intestines and prevents the passage of harmful allergens, doesn’t reach peak production until around seven months of age.The latter made more sense to my baby case. His eczema was very bad, the rashes would flare up each time I had the foods which are allergic to him (cow's milks and dairy products, eggs, oats, wheat, soy, sea food, tree nuts, peanuts). 

How I managed my son's eczema.

This was what his doctor advised: Apply steroid cream on the affected areas 2 times per day, continue to apply for a few days more even if the skin gets back its smoothness but not more than a week, apply plenty of moisturizer cream. Done as told, a week later, the skin got back the milky smoothness. And a week later it flared up again when I had another type of allergic food.

After having done my homework to understand thoroughly eczema, I realized that the way this doctor treated the eczema was not good, asked me to apply the steroid cream on the baby skin even the rashes were not there anymore as if this could cure the eczema "root". This was not an one time sickness, this will happen from time to time and we need to live with this a least for a few years. I don't want to overuse the steroid cream. Keeping itching under control is job No. 1 of any eczema treatment, the first symptom of an eczema outbreak may be an extreme itch, which creates a never ending hard scratching and causes inflammation in the area, which turns into a visible rash and triggers further itching, then serious infections followed. Bacteria can enter the skin through scratches and other open areas. 

I changed all his bed sheet, blanket, clothing into breathable cotton. When an eczema sign appeared, I immediately stopped the suspected foods and applied moisturizer cream on the affected areas few times a day. Waited until the night, only applied a thin layer of the steroid cream after his bath (before sleep) and continued to apply the moisturizer every 2 hours (my son required breastfeeds each 2 hours). I think that night time was the best time for the skin to heal. In the next morning, his skin condition still seemed controllable. I normally continued with the moisturizer only, no more steroid cream and tried to distract & stop him from scratching. The rashness was disappeared after a few days. The allergic reactions lasted badly for 15 months and gradually reduced. He is 2 years old now, has pumpkin-cheese for breakfast every morning and the allergic reactions appeared for a few minutes then disappeared by themselves without any treatment. Same for fish and other foods, but not peanuts.

Referals:

http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/starting-solids-waiting-is-worth-it
http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/07/13/us-breastfeeding-eczema-idUSTRE66C5Q420100713
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a541297/baby-eczema-causes-symptoms-treatments-and-creams
http://www.everydayhealth.com/eczema/skin-care-routine.aspx

Kid doesn't need so many toys.

Playing blocks with my son, I normally don't build follow samples. I built those objects he knew i.e the chairs, the tables, the trees, the alphabet letters, the tunnels...He loved to make them too. He only played with some certain toys, but played with them in different ways.

I can tell that he sees things in many angles. Without my guideline, he showed me the laundry clip as an A shape, turned it up side down to be a V. He teared a paper into shapes (circles, triangles...).

Today, he played with the hangers, accidentally got stuck, then he told me he had made a star ^_^

Simple game, great benefit!

Playing with the beans helps to develop these skills:

1. Attention and concentration: The ability to maintain attention to a specific task for an extended period of time.
2. Body Awareness:Knowing body parts and understanding the body's movement.
3. Bilateral integration: Using two hands together with one hand leading.
4. Hand eye coordination: The ability to process information received from the eyes to control, guide, and direct the hands in the accomplishment of a given task.
5. Hand Dominance: the consistent use of one (usually the same) hand for task performance, which allows refined skills to develop.
6. Self regulation: the ability to obtain, maintain and change alertness level appropriate for a task or situation. 

The interesting part was when he crawled under the table and picked up the spilled beans, one by one.

These skills seemed simple at the first glance but they give great benefits to the child in being smart, creative, good in communication...I'll do some researches and list out the necessary skills. From there, find the games (simple, suitable, interesting) for my son to play.

Play anyway, why not play beneficial games?

Simple, cheap, customized home made reading scheme fits your toddlers (2-6 years old).

Reference: Key Words with Peter and Jane series.

I have 3 books of this series (1a, 1b, 1c). In general, they've got the common points below:

1. Big letters.
2. Basic sentences, popular words.
3. Words and sentences are repeated within a page, a book.
4. The difficult lever is increased from the 1st page to the last page. Nice illustration after each page.

After spending some times with my son and the books, I have taken a few notes. My 2 years old son only listened and looked at the words when I covered the pretty illustrations. He has never been patient to read the full book (around 50 pages including the pictures). Combining the references and my notes, I have thought of preparing a more suitable book series for my son, names "Jaden and friends" ^_^. These books follow the criteria below:

1. Big letters.
2. Basic sentences, popular words (key words) – I prefer the words, situations he knew. I introduce new words to him daily, talk to him in a full, basic sentence. He gets to read what he knew without illustrations.
3. Words and sentences are repeated within a page, a book.
4. Using stapler and A4 paper (fold into half) to make the book, no illustrations. There might be a simple drawing on the cover page illustrated the topic.
5. Topics are the kid's daily activities, conversations, his favorite objects/toys, his favorite songs, his outing trips, the people he loves, the people he met...the world around him.
6. The number of sentences in a page, how many page a book depends on the kid's ability of perceiving. I'll start with 4-5 pages and see how it goes.

This series will be written gradually, customized to the developing knowledge of my son (from 2 years old to 6 years old). He's got the knowledge of the alphabet, basic shapes & colors, basic numbers and counting. He's got a larger of vocabulary too, comparing to a months ago. By reading these books, I want him to have a chance to review his spellings, to use the basic sentences, to communicate easily and correctly. He will be reading those books and other favorite books within 15 minutes before sleep. Stop earlier or extend the time if he wants but not more than 30 minutes. 

Example:

The ability of making decisions should be introduced early to your toddlers.

Many people including me were so puzzled about what they really want in life. Schoolchildren wondered about what they are going to do in the future. Working people asking themselves whether they are choosing the right career path. Moms asking themselves whether they are doing the right thing, chose taking care of their child over the career or vice versa...

I love the spirit of Katy Perry in her Video "Roar". A soft, naive girl following the guy, being under his shadow, being a part of his accessories. She didn't realize her own self until she was put in the situation of must-be-independent. Being free from all the strings attached to her, she has been awaken. Katy did well in that song, her tiger eyes, her tiger voice were so powerful as if the whole jungle, the whole world is hers.

This is the way I would like to bring up my son. Knowing self well and having the ability of making decisions are necessary for him to be the boss of his life rather than being owned by it. 2-3 years old is the perfect time to introduce these skills to him, he has his own tastes, he can understand you. It doesn't meant that he can decide on whatever he likes, under 18 years old, his freedom within boundaries. Me and his Dad will be opened to discuss about these boundaries if he brings them up to us. We are going to observe him, judge the situations and give the green light whenever he's ready. It will start from all the small little things. He could decide when to stop eating, he could refuse to eat the food which taste he doesn't like, he could pick the pajamas and the favorite books for the night too. But, I'm the one who decide he would have only one chocolate a day, let him decide on this one, whole box of chocolate will be inside his tummy. I'm also the one who decide what time he should go to bed. Next will be picking his own clothes & shoes when we go out, take turns with us to choose the dinning place. I'll explain, give him information so he could learn how to be considerate when making decisions. 

This is how they trained a wild, young elephant. It is tied to a wooden frame or between two tree trunks where he is unable to move. And it is thus, tearing at the ropes and flailing with his trunk, that he is introduced to his mahout. In order to break it in, the young elephant is repeatedly stuck with an elephant hook and beaten. Fear, pain, thirst and hunger finally make the elephant give up all resistance. Eventually, the elephant begins to accept its fate. Same for human beings, the elephant hook and getting beaten are the physical punishments or the words cut more than sword parents used on their kids. This way of teaching is to heal the outer part of the wound, but make the inner side worse.

I don't want my son to be a mini-mum, mini-dad or mini-whoever. He's got to be himself, gay or straight, believer or nonbeliever, live the life the way he wants, be responsible for it. End of the day, we only live once!

Put you in your child shoes, understand him, teach him the way he wants.

My son (and most of the toddlers 1-3 years old) can be described as below:

• Very very good memory (you can refer to the scan machine ^_^): I let him read 5 alphabet letters/time, 10 numbers/time, 8 basic colors/time, 9 basic shapes/time. He will scan through and differentiate them from each other. Same for us, comparison is a great method for toddlers too I reckon. On/In/Under the table is also a good example.
• Very very bad in focusing: I use the reward to get him to focus. A pile of favorite books will be put next to us, he will get to sing his favorite song and choose the book he likes most for me to read for him  after the lesson . Only focus in what you want to teach him, no illustrations, no images (i.e A for Apple with the red nice apple at the side. He surely will focus in that interesting picture instead of the letter A).
• Very very bad in being patient: That's the reason why the lesson should be within 1-3 minutes each night, he will be focus to move to the main part of 7 minutes (songs, books). You've got to have a speed, fast but clear. Which letter/number/shape/color he's been stuck, pass it, move on. Don't worry about them, my son's been stuck with Q, W, 7, Rectangle, Triangle, I didn't try to correct him, he eventually auto changed to the right ones without my notice. Your job is to keep repeating them right, learning and getting it right is his job, give him some time (you will be surprised how short the time he needed).
• Very very active: Move around nonstop, he won't like the idea of sitting still. You'd better be funny, humorous, jolly when delivering your lesson to him. Add in  plenty of "Wow, awesome, yeah plus the face & hand expression ....". Kids don't like boring people ^_^. Who like boring people anyway? 

Make a lesson as fun as a game. Kid prefer the idea of playing rather than learning.

Steps to learn the Alphabet for a toddler (mine started at 17 months old). 10 minutes each night.

Jaden has 10 minutes each night for story time. I put next to us a pile of his favorite books. I explained and got him to agree that we would go through the ABC book first before "The Three Little Pigs" and "Peter and Jane" series.

1st period (3 days):
Expect nothing from him other than he being patient in a minute, looking and listening to your reading. 
Part 1: I read the alphabet, he listened to me. There are 5 pages of the book, 5 letters per page. Although there were the illustrations each letter but I covered them, trust me, your child won't give a look to the letters if those fun colorful images were there. I read the numbers 1-10 too. Both are being read in less than 1 minute.
Part 2: Sing the song "Sing a song of sixpence" at the end of the ABC book (or any song he likes). Being so looking forward to this song, he was patient enough to listen to part 1. He laughed his heart out when the black bird pecked off the maid nose (I pinched his nose too). At the end, give him those favorite books, let him choose the book for you to read before sleep.


2nd period (4 days):
Expect nothing from him other than he being patient in 2 minutes, looking, listening and repeating after you.
Part 1: Explain and get him look and read after you each letter/number. Both are being read in less than 2 minute. The process is continuous without stopping, if he couldn't repeat the letter or number, forget it, move to the next one, you will be surprise how fast he will get it in the next few days.

Part 2: As usual, song and favorite book time!


3rd period (1 weeks):
Expect nothing from him other than he being patient in 3-4 minutes, looking, listening and repeating after you. Remind him each time he forgot, and move on, your help will be greatly appreciated.
Part 1: You read 5 letters a time (1 page), stop, explain and get him repeat them (you point to the letter). Same for numbers. The process is continuous without stopping, if he couldn't repeat the letter or number, remind him, let him repeat after you that letter/number and move on. Both are being read in less than 3-4 minutes.  
Part 2: As usual, song and favorite book time!


4th period (2 weeks):
Expect nothing from him other than he being patient in 3-4 minutes, looking and reading. Remind him each time he forgot, and move on, your help will be greatly appreciated.
Part 1: Explain and get him read the letters when you point (without your reading). The process is continuous without stopping, if he couldn't read the letter or number, remind him, let him repeat after you that letter/number and move on. Both are being read in less than 3-4 minutes.
Part 2: As usual, song and favorite book time!

10 minutes learning each night in 1 month, my son can basically recognize, read the alphabet and numbers fluently. 

Practicing is just like a fun discovery game to us. It might be meaningless to an adult, but having spotted a big blue A in a mall would be a great deal to a toddler. Yes, those alphabets and numbers can be spotted everywhere around us. On the printed shirt you are wearing, on the household equipments, on the shop panels along the way...car number plates too. I usually only show him the favorite letter (he likes A the most), I was so happy when he show me the other letters too (out of my expectation), he even can spot some things in the household which the shapes are alphabet like (i.e: the laundry clip has the A shape, and V shape). The practicing in the period 4 is the most interesting one when he knows most of the alphabets and numbers.  

This is the ABC book I used to teach my son. Only showed him the alphabets, the rest need to be covered (toddler's focus skill is very very poor despite their great memory). I think a book made by A4 paper with big  alphabets only will have a good use too.

Early childhood education is not only good, but AWESOME!

It started on the day I bought a set of crayons for my 17 months son. With a book of blank sheets, I draw colors, shapes on them while telling my son the names. After that, I use all these shapes and colors to draw houses, animals, cars, mountains, trees and telling my son stories about them. He loved it so much. I told him about the round fan, the rectangle door, the red tomato, the blue sky...Yes, I did not notice our world is formed by all those lovely colors and shapes, they are just everywhere around us. 

A few days later, my son began to be the one who pointed out to me the colors and shapes he recognized. He asked for green when he wanted to eat the vegetable in my plate, he asked for brown mentioning the stew beef...Each time we going out, on his car seat, he commenting non stop about the scenery outside the car window with me joining him jolly. Green tree, flying birds, white cloud, traffic lights...all of them amused him so much. 

I have changed my attitude towards early education since then. I use to think that there is no need to learn so early, he will learn eventually when he goes to school. But by observing him, I realized that knowledge is for exploring the world, connecting to the social, not for competing or getting praise. The good news is it doesn't cost much. A full of love heart, a child like attitude will do. In the adult world, daily negative news on the TV, household bills piling up, mistreats are everywhere...I love the idea of being a child again, who don't?

I have some thoughts about early reading too. It boosts his imagination, focusing skill, observing skill, analyzing skill...all these are great tools to discovering the world around him. Toddler is just so new to the world. A flying bird, ant crawling in and out, a twinkling star...are just nothing new to us, but are wonderful to them. 

An idea of teaching early reading came to my mind. After 1 month he has memorized and can read the alphabet, 1-20 numbers. Practicing has never been so easy. He can see alphabet and numbers everywhere, we've made it like a seeking game. Fun, anytime, anywhere. And here he is, 2 years old boy, fluently reading the alphabet, shows me the the laundry clip as an A, turns it up side down to make a V, he can see shapes, colors in any things. The world is so interesting in his view! So it is in my view now...

J trả bài cho mẹ - Little 2 years old J has done a good job, started learning from 17 months old, and here is the reward :)

Đã hoàn thành mục tiêu mốc 2 tuổi, chàng biết đọc bảng chữ cái, nhận biết số 1-20, nhận biết bộ hình cơ bản, bảng màu sắc cơ bản. Biết ghép 2 tính từ vào 1 danh từ. Biết giao tiếp căn bản bằng tiếng anh. Sống rất tình cảm, hay ôm hôn bố mẹ. Rất thân thiện và hay cười.

The "2 years old target" has been hit. He can read fluently the English Alphabet, read number from 1 to 20, recognize the basic shapes, colors. He knows how to combine 2 adjectives into one noun to describe things around him. He loves to smile, hug his loved ones and very friendly to others.

Mục tiêu mốc 3 tuổi sẽ là biết giao tiếp căn bản bằng 3 thứ tiếng Anh, Việt, Hoa, biết đọc bộ sách mẹ soạn riêng bằng tiếng Anh, Việt. Đã đọc được vài tập Peter and Jane nên mẹ nghĩ đây không phải mục tiêu quá khó với con. Trên hết, học mà chơi con nhé!

On the process of learning reading for the "3 years old target". He likes Peter & Jane book. I'm preparing a special book series in English and Vietnamese especially for him. He will be enjoyed reading them 10 minutes each night since they are simple, fun & interesting. Most importantly, take it easy and explore the beautiful of reading where he can use his imagination, focusing skill, observing skill...